Addiction

It is sharp. 

This feeling you evoke in me. 

Like the smell of blood. 

Making one recoil, pause.

I can't even remember why I want you so badly. Maybe because you feel like home. 

Maybe because I don't have you. 

Maybe because the snippets that I get from you are a balm to  my soul. Always wanting more massage.

I know, without a doubt, that to have you will be nothing but agony. 

An opium addiction that will kill me. 

I needing so bad that it will consume me. You will become my hobby and my passion. 

You will become my colors. The world pausing in gray until you get home. 

I will want nothing but you.

I have never wanted to love like this. 

This searing, this uncontrollable, this uncomfortable, a black hole of a relationship. Sucking the light out of light itself.

And yet here I am. 

So convinced that if I can't have you I will die.

So this is love.

This is terrible.

A