Nameless

I am sitting in my downtown loft apartment. On the top floor. Watching life go by. I do not have a tv. I instead have an apartment that is walls of windows. I like to watch outside. I like to imagine what the lives are of the people in the apartments across the way. Are they happy? Are they sad? Do they have complex and complicated lives or like me are they just gearing up for a Monday at work? I love the lights. I love the quiet. I love being able to imagine.

This weekend I went to Rhode Island because I wanted to see the Cherry Blossoms in Washing DC. But DC as too far and I've been to Boston so somehow RI made sense. Honestly it was great. We followed the signs and found a beach. Some random out of the way beach with everything closed for the season. We parked on what was not a parking lot but instead a rectangle of beach and I worried that I would be unable to back out and would sink like quick sand. But we didn't and I could. In the midst of all of that I did some heavy thinking.

I have moved to the other side of the country. I am not unhappy here. As a matter of fact I have a really good life. Still and again. Work is good. I'm able to accomplish my ministry. The kids are rising above what was and becoming what they can be. I have things to do and people to do them with.

It just feels so blah. And I KNOW! I know that I should be happy and grateful and excited to be alive. An I am. But I get so restless. So So restless. It causes me to create drama where there is none just to have something to do. Fortunately the drama I create is all in my head and it has a low amount of impact on the world at large but it does cause me some stress.