I am sure there is a word for what it feels like when things are flat lined. They are not high. They are not low. There is no excitement. There are no tragedies. Everything just is.
Mostly good kids.
Mostly good job.
Really good friends.
Really good ministry.
A lot of love in both expected and unexpected places.
I don't know that I have ever felt this zen in my whole life. I am not in a relationship. This is a choice as opposed to a lack of options. I just think that it's taken me a long time to get here, to this flat place, and I don't want to mess it up. I know that it's unfair to say that a relationship messes with your inner peace but in my experience it does.
40 is good. I understand what I don't want. I understand what I do want. I have the means to get it or the patience to wait. And plenty of distractions in between. I am learning to be ok just being ok. No ups no downs, just ride the middle.
A
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