Friday, February 3, 2017

PMS, Valentine's Day, Eleanora Fagan, Wine & Chocolate

It probably goes without saying that PMS and Valentine's Day do not go well together.

Oh to be a woman.  Every month my body releases the raw materials to help create life. Given my unique body chemistry, I feel this process literally. Soon thereafter, pms hits. It is not my brain's fault that is is flooded with chemicals it normally does not have to manage. It is part of the wonderful gift of being woman.  Some days I wonder if pms is the body's grief cycle for not conceiving.  The egg dies.  The lining has to go.  The body is sad that the womb is bereft of a baby and wala- pms chemicals wash your brain in their tears. I know this is not scientific but it makes sense to me.

Every year I pms around the same time as Valentine's Day.  I am usually relationship-less too.  I realized last year that I typically hop into relationships around Valentines Day or shortly thereafter.  The cycle is - I pms, it's Valentine's Day, I decide I want a $12.99 Teddy Bear (the fact that I don't celebrate Valentine's Day makes the situation even more insensible), and I fall into a situation. I stay in the situation through Spring and Summer- I believe Spring and Summer are conducive to situations.  It's nice to have someone to while the Summer away with at an outdoor cafe with an adult beverage. Fall comes along with the realities a new school year for the stinks, new service year, and new work school year; you know my life starts back up. The situation starts to feel like work and I look for the exit.

It is not (really) the other part of the situation's fault.  I spoil people with time and "stuff" during the first half of the year.  Mostly because I have a lot of extra time and "stuff". They get used to it.  When my life starts up my time becomes limited and they throw small fits. I find it annoying and self-centered.  I never understand why they don't innately realize that the last 2 seasons are their time to give as opposed to take. Not having the time to explain it nor the inclination, I hang my relationship hat up for the year.

Fall is full of fall activities and breaks and family time.  Winter is more of the same but with snow activities.  I don't really think about relationships again until the February holiday decorations come out. Blast effective marketing. I'm good at ignoring it until the inevitable pms hits. Then the cycle begins anew.

I decided last Fall that if I can make it through Valentine's Day situation-less then I will have achieved an adult benchmark. I am 12 days away.  Funny number that one. The pms hit a day or so ago, the fight is on.  When I was younger and I understood that my body was good at releasing 2 eggs at a time (which meant that my pms was terrible as was everything else that goes with it and it explains my resultant fraternal twins) I decided I had a choice- I could try and talk myself out of my pms and thus prolong it OR I could embrace it and hate everyone and everything for about 48 hours.  I decided to go with the latter.  Naturally. I'm nice about it, I give fair warning and hide in my room.

I digress. 12 days to go.  It is getting critical. Situations are presenting themselves but I am resolved.  I figured I needed to find a safe space.  Bring on Eleanora Fagan and Chocolate and Wine. Did you know that chocolate releases the same chemicals that make you feel happy and euphoric as drugs do? And wine is a chemical depressant.  Which means that wine and chocolate leave you feeling relaxed and happy.  Assuming you're not a diabetic alcoholic... Where does Eleanora come in?  No one can ever convince me that the blues of Stormy Weather and Body and Soul can't heal you.  Eleanora Fagan's stage name is Billie Holiday.

So this is me- 12 days out from a milestone.  Drinking red wine, eating dark chocolate, listening to Billie Holiday and blogging.  If that doesn't combat V Day pms there is no hope.

Fortunately my body is already bloated so when all of this goes away in a few days I will have "lost weight" and I won't feel obligated to spend an extra day at the gym to work the extra caloric intake guilt off.

If nothing else, that is an amazing silver lining.

I got this.

Dewberry


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