A Proper Thank You

I just spent the entire Uber ride speaking in Spanish. I just spent. The. Entire. Uber ride. Speaking in Spanish. Because I'm in Puerto Rico. Obvi.

Begin at the Beginning.

When I was 14 or 15 a movie named "Only You" came out.  It starred Marissa Tome and Robert Downy Jr.  and was essentially about a lady running all over Italy to find her true love. I fell in love with Italy through that movie and it became my life's ambition at 14 or 15 to go to Italy. I didn't know how- I didn't know when but I KNEW that my soul belonged in Italy and I owed it to myself to get there.

I planned. I plotted. I waited. I went.

I remember vividly getting out of the cab in Milano and engaging in a shouting match with the cabbie because the whole ride I had asked him in Italian, "Quanto costa?" and he refused to answer me.  Then when we were disembarking he named a price that only a really dumb American would pay.

Side Note: I had decided then and still believe that it's only polite to have a working knowledge of the language of the country to which you visit.  I am fully aware that most of the world has a workable knowledge of English.  But it just seems rude to presume. Kinda like when you go to someone's house- you should offer to take off your shoes.  Most of the time they don't care but sometimes someone cares a lot.  As a person who prefers shoes off I always appreciate the question and the follow through... So in Italy I speak Italian. In Germany I speak German. In Mexico I speak Spanish. In Switzerland- you get the drift. I usually respond to people in the language in which they first speak to me so often it is unnecessary to use my languages but it's there if I need it.  Like a secret super power.

Needless to say, I did not pay the fare the cabbie was asking.  We had researched cost beforehand and knew the price.  I remember that after the heated "discussion" we tossed the lira into the cab and walked into the hotel. Scared and young.  Did I mention I had just turned 19? But the cabbie went away and we checked in.

We had flown all night and were exhausted.  We got the keys and climbed the stairs.  We went in the room and deposited the luggage on the- well, floor. 19 remember? Then I went to the window to look out over the piazza. As I opened the windows I recognized that they had no screens.  Windows in Italy do not have screens. (Actually generally no screens in Europe but I didn't know that yet.) So I leaned out. Some man whistled and I hurriedly pulled back in.  I looked at Kristie fell upon the bed in a fit of giggles.

It was about more than the stereo-typical Italian man. More than the windows and the victory with the cabbie.  It was about achieving a dream. This thing that I had so badly wanted, I had done. I laid in that bed in Milan at 19 and thought- I can do anything.  Anything.  If I just try hard enough. I can make my dreams come true. I can, I just did. So I laughed some more. It was such a rush.

That moment in my life has sustained me and empowered me to live the life I have imagined. And I hadn't felt that feeling again, until recently.

I have spent the next decade or so being a really responsible adult. Even my fun times are sprinkled with a restraint of knowing the weight of my responsibilities. Which is ok.  I choose my responsibilities and I would never shirk them.  But I have never felt as free as I did in that moment. Or as powerful.

Recently my life has begun to evolve. I found myself sans kids, dog sitter available, time on my hands and the means to do as I please. I have worked hard to be in this position so it's only envious if you completely discount the years of incredibly hard work that went into making it happen.

I was at home. Bored. And faced with a week of nothing to do. I don't do well when bored. I over-think my life and come to strange decisions. So I text a friend and asked what he would do if he were in my position. What he said was magic (well after the not magic :)). He said, "Do what you have always wanted."

Every winter break since I started teaching I have fantasized about leaving the chill of Colorado behind, finding an island paradise and doing nothing more strenuous than staring at the ocean all day.  Maybe turning a page or so in a book. Definitely lifting a rum laced drink to my mouth. But no more. No less. Just me and sand and sun and surf and Sangria. I explained this to said friend, expecting the usual cautions that one gets when one is young-ish and female and single. I got none of that.  Instead I was indulged in the conversation. "Where would you go?" I was already googling.

I don't know if he thought I was serious or not. He doesn't really know me well enough to realize that I am of action. Possibly he wasn't really even paying rapt attention to the conversation. Doesn't matter.  What matters is that he didn't laugh. On the contrary, he came up with a great destination after my research and dismissal of several islands.

"What about Puerto Rico?" 10:11

"Hadn't looked yet" 10:11

"This is a great idea!! Do you recommend any place in particular?" 10:18

"San Juan" 10:32

"I did it :o" 11:09

I was on the plane less than 24 hours later in in San Juan less than 36 hours after that. Everyone else was slightly shocked and a bit appalled; issuing all of the normal dire warnings given the circumstances. But I was happy.

I had an early morning lay over in Miami and as I was getting ready to board the plane I got that feeling again. The Italy one. The realization of a dream one. It feels like champagne on the inside. You are both as light as a bubble and as invincible as a rock. You are your dream realized. No holds bar. All I could do was laugh. Again. Then laugh some more.  It tickles on the inside.

I would not have had the guts to do this thing had it not been for that  conversation. There is something to be said for someone that just indulges your dreams, without stepping on them, that needs to be applauded. Said friend has not once told me to "be safe" or "be careful" only to "enjoy" and "have fun". I'm so grateful for that. It's a given that I will be careful and safe, it is a gift to just be able to have fun and enjoy myself.

I have gotten to do this thing that I always wanted to do and maybe wouldn't have done. Beyond that I got to feel that feeling again. While the beach and books are great, it is about so much more than that.  It is about remembering that dreams still can come true. Especially when you have the right pixie on your shoulder. The one that empowers you to remember your power.

There is not much that I can give said person, him being so well put together and all. But what I have best is what I have always had- my words. So I want to say thank you, in true AmBri fashion, with a story that deeply underscores the gift that you gave me. I wanted to explain why what you did was so amazing, whether you realized it or not. It's not everyday that someone gets to support someone else in making life's best moments happen. But you did. And I am grateful. So much so that it merits a Blog.

So to You- a Proper Thank You.

Thank you.

A