On Suicide- Because eventually every good writer thinks about it...

 When one wants to die 

         it is love that keeps one alive.

The idea that someone would miss you

    That someone for whom your death wouldn't be a guilt inducing occasion

            Would grieve. 

Makes you pause. Go to sleep to wake up another day. 

    The idea that you are not alone

        That someone loves you enough to agree that 

            Suicide, or the theoretical contemplation of it, isn't crazy

                But could be considered as just another viable option

                    Makes you feel seen.

and

being seen is enough

it is enough

the conversation

is enough

to choke the thought

and make you glad 

that some one loves you 

enough

that

two some ones love you enough

to enable you to stay

even though 

to go

is 

a 

restful thought.

A

Gentle

I know love. 

I have known love.

the real kind and the best kind and the kind that lasts. I realize just now, today, in this moment that i still haven't shaken it. i realize that maybe i never will. everyone else is a shadow of you. a recreation of what was. and it is done. 

it's done. 

that hurts

the postscript

King Solomon said that "Love is as Strong as Death is. It's insistence on exclusive devotion as unyielding as Sheol itself." this is a fact. like death, real love refuses to be denied existence. like energy it is neither lost nor gained. just distributed and redistributed. when called it comes to help to heal to soften. love is never done.

Water

In a relationship

Out a relationship.

In a relationship

Out a relationship.

In a relationship

Out a relationship.

Relationships come and go for me like the tide. They ebb and flow. Back and forth. I live my life like the river. Always on the move. Always changing. Always on my way to become the next thing. 

I have never been a pond or a puddle or a lake. I have never been bound; by life, by circumstance, by limitations. Like the water, I find a way.  Water always finds a path- or creates one. Water takes the path of gravity. Just down. It just moves down. And then it gets so hot, so small, so light- that it transforms and ascends. Water never ever fights. It adapts and releases. Finds friends in the sky and makes a party until it becomes so heavy that it heads back to terra forma. Where the party splats, breaks up and starts all over again. Water is content in all it forms. Small like evaporation and heavy like ice. Alone as it grows and together as it journeys. 

I am water. Sometimes light, sometimes heavy, sometimes alone, sometimes together, sometimes soft, sometimes harsh, sometimes gentle, sometimes loud- always pervasive. Always growing. Always finding a way. I am water. Everything and nothing all at the same time. I am not afraid of fire. I can not kill me. I simply evolve to my next phase and start the journey anew. 

I am water. 

Life saving.

Life giving.

Essential.

Simple.

Necessary.

I am water.

A