Journey

"Life is a journey, 

Not a destination, 

There are no mistakes, 

Just chances we've taken

Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now."

-India Arie

We are told, emphatically and often, that life is a journey.  We all logically believe this. Yet we usually act in the polar opposite direction. I have had a lot of time to think during my life reset.  Think about who I am. Think about what I want. Think about what I don't want. Think about what parts of myself I've lost touch with. Think about what parts of myself that I needed to leave behind.  I have done a massive amount of thinking.

I think that my conclusions have boiled down to something simple. That the above is true. And that I can't be afraid to live as if the above is true. A journey is defined as an act of traveling from one place to another. Synonyms are an expedition, excursion, trek, jaunt, wandering or odyssey. How many of us actually think about our lives as an expedition? We don't. We are in a rush to get to a place. To achieve a status- relationship status, parental status, economic status, professional status. We are sold the fiction that once we achieve the status we get a golden key of happiness. The synonym for fiction is a lie. That is a lie.

We are told that both the journey and the destination are the means of happiness. But they are diametrically opposed so both can't be true.  I have achieved many status titles- Wife, Mother, Stylist, Teacher, Girlfriend, Director, Boss, Home Owner, Business Owner, Financial "stability". All of these roles in my life have been important but they do not, in and of themselves, make me happy. They are my fragments. They are the result of who I am because of what I have done. Where my journey has taken me.

I realized how easy it would be at this point of my life for my story to be written. I could easily slide into the epilogue of what is my story- with a great book already written. But that would mean that I have arrived at my destination.  That would mean that there are no more treks to be made and jaunts to be had. That would mean I'm ready to lay down and die. Obviously I'm not. 

That means that I have to, that I had to decide what I want my next segment to look like. I had to determine my expedition and prepare accordingly.  I think maybe that's why adults stagnate. The are afraid of the work of preparing for the next journey. After all a good expedition takes planning, maps, the right gear, the right knowledge and so on and so on.  As people age they are afraid to embrace the unknown. Arrogance really- to think that we have it so figured out. Or practicality- if I go back to school I have new student debt. If I move to a new land I have to sell my house and start a new mortgage. If I change anything it means I have to start over. However the term "to start over" indicates that you think you've finished and that goes back to the whole destination vs. journey mentality.

There are probably a type of person that wants the destination. That craves the stability and the predictable. That is content with working 5 days a week and gets excitement from yearly vacations. I hold no judgment against those type of people (unless they pretend to not want it when they really do- everyone should be honest with themselves). I simply am not one of them.

I am excited by what is next. And what is next after that. I am internally driven by the journey. All of this thinking has brought me back around to that. To the idea that my life will be that of an epic odyssey. An epic- used correctly. It is no surprise in retrospect that I was starting to feel smothered by my life. It had turned into a destination. 

So now what? Well- start preparing for the next adventure. Another synonym of journey is globe trotter. There is a lot of globe for me to cover.

I better get packing.

A