The Purpose of Blogging

I had an especially interesting day because of my blog; as a result I sat down to blog about the point of blogging. Specifically the point of my blogging, then I remembered that I had already done that. On September 28, 2015 I blogged about my Blogging Dilemma. I'll spare you the cliff notes. If you are reading this you can read. Go read it. 

What I actually want to say is that in the midst of my confusion about why people get so upset when you speak truth I called my ex-husband. He, like me, has a voice. Is a writer. Says what's hard. And says what's real. We met at 19 at a poetry café and bonded over how callus people are with words and truth. People either love us or hate us- mostly it depends on how honest they are about who they are. 

I digress, so I lay the situation out to him, happy that I don't have to dumb my vocabulary down and this is what he said, "Amy there is a nerve in people's brains that goes crazy when you speak the truth. Especially when they lie to themselves about themselves. No one wants to hear the truth about themselves when they are busy perpetuating a lie. We, people like you and I, we thrive in truth. We live our truth. Most people don't. That's just what it is."

That made sense. Then we discussed the word "Crazy." 

Him: I hate that word.

Me: Why?

Him: Because if someone truly has a mental disability calling them crazy will likely push them over the edge. These are the people that come back and shoot people. Calling a mentally ill person crazy makes makes the situation worse. Calling a sane person crazy is an inaccurate use of the word. And it insults people with mental illness. Either way, the word crazy never helps.

Me: That's the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. It's funny because it's true.

Him: You're welcome.

My takeaways-

1) If I hit a nerve because I speak truth. Well- oh well.

2) I deeply appreciate people who use words accurately and with the honor that they deserve.

3) If my Blog upsets you- don't read it. 

4) No, we are not getting remarried.

But- Thanks Mayo. 

You're a real one.

The other Dewberry

The good and the no good and the soul tinglers

This will be a simple post I hope. 

The no good-

I was recently in a situationship where in the person decided that it was their job to suck the life out of my soul. Curiously, I went along with his idea until I did not. I was curious. I didn't understand what a manipulator thought that they could manipulate me into or out of and I didn't understand what kind of weak willed woman they thought I was. But I was interested to find out. Perhaps just to test my own depth in fortitude. But mostly just curious. I played my part as both an actor in the play and a spectator in the audience. Simply born of curiosity. 9 months later and an uncanny waste of time, I have come to understand that some people are simply no good. (Uh- hum yes Cobb, I'm referring to you.)

The good-

Which leads me to the fact that some guys are good. A good man does not leave you broken, does not leave you questioning your worth, does not leave you bereft. Sad, maybe. Hurt, definitely. But questioning your worth, never. Relationships really do take more than love, a good man understands that an arrangement to build a future is not quite the same thing as the ability to love a wonderful human being. He does not seek to destroy, he seeks to free.

The soul tinglers-

All that aside, I think in life there is one person who tickles your soul. They feel like home to you on a level that requires no words and holds no vocabulary. Maybe they will be your husband, maybe they will be your best friend, maybe they will just be a very good lesson. But they will change you in irrevocable ways and you will forever be grateful. 

I recently had a text message exchange with someone that I haven't talked to in a very long time. Same said person I talked to madly and deeply throughout a very long period in my life. I had text something inane and when I looked down and saw that there was a response my insides tingled. I know that I do not have a future with this person. But I also know that there is one person in the world whose soul speaks to mine. One person who makes my insides tingle. What more can one person ask for than to know that there is someone special that connects to them in a metaphysical way? 

 It is enough. 

I've been blessed. 

Dewberry

p.s. To the Griffins and Maxwells of the world (because it needs to be said and what better place for me to say what I need to say than in my blog)- Don't you think as black women we have enough to manage fighting a system that has conspired to tear us apart? I know I do. You should be ashamed of your behavior. I know I am.

Mic drop.